Archive for July, 2010

Plank and Cheese

I’m alive.  It’s something that’s been brought to my attention during weekly plank exercises.  I hate planks.  My core shakes.  My wrists hurt.  I want to vomit.  All because of a silly exercise I feel like a stupid little wimpy pot.  Whatever that is.

Now of course there are other things that suggest I’m alive—blisters, Mac & Cheese, dancing with the Stat man (awwww—yah, that’s right, he’s pretty boss)[1].  However, ever since Inception, the third level dream layer has become worth consideration.[2] The one thing I know I would not be trained to do in layer 3 is a plank.  It’s just not dreamy.

So, moving deeper into reality, the Stat Man thinks my plank form is more “elbow macaroni” than “badass.”  Here is his best attempt of an impression:

However, the following evidence disproves his entire claim:

I’m just saying…badass.  Boo-ya.  Anyway, in honor of the Stat Man, here’s a how-to on his Mac & Cheese.  Eat your heart out.

Stat Man Mac & Cheese

1 medium box of elbow macaroni

4 Tbsp butter

4 Tbsp flour

1 ½ -2 C Milk

2 C shredded cheddar cheese


Start putting a whole bunch of water on heat (enough water to boil your macaroni that is…).  While your big tub-o-water is working on vaporization, start on the béchamel.  All in all, a béchamel is just a roux + milk, and in our case, cheese.  Start with a roux.  Melt your butter.  Then the flour.  Stir this mixture over the heat until it’s incorporated and is a sandy yellow color.  Next add milk—the warmer the better (traditionally its scalded before added).  I’m guessing you want a comment on the amount of milk. This is really up to you, depending on the consistency you’re looking for.  Maybe start with 1 ½ – 2 Cups.  If it’s too thick, add more.  If it’s too runny, let it cook off.

Finally dump in the cheese and keep it over the heat until it completely combines with your béchamel.

By this time your pasta should have cooked.  In a large oven safe pan combine the sauce and the macaroni.  Sprinkle paprika, salt and pepper on top, and pop it in the oven at 350 degrees for about 20 minutes, or until you get a nice crust on top.  Done.

Well almost.  You could also make a lemon curd tart for dessert.

[1]Fine.  I’ll admit that until today this blog was not one of those suggestions…

[2] Likewise, ever since Memento “I don’t feel drunk”